• 

May I bury my head under a pillow
Close my eyes and breath
See, there’s a distant glow
Amidst the darkness

Jump into an abbys
I don’t get my thoughts straight
Say I care and lose
I do not see an end

Toss and turn a page
Something afar is flickering
An idea looks right at me
I hear them whispers I drop

Voices of those before me
Warning about the depth
My feelings become dark
I no longer want to speak up

@$heetheepoet

• 

May I bury my head under a pillow
Close my eyes and breath
See, there’s a distant glow
Amidst the darkness

Jump into an abbys
I don’t get my thoughts straight
Say I care and lose
I do not see an end

Toss and turn a page
Something afar is flickering
An idea looks right at me
I hear them whispers I drop

Voices of those before me
Warning about the depth
My feelings become dark
I no longer want to speak up

@$heetheepoet

I feel everything
It’s all rushing back
I remember the worst
Feelings I’d rather forget

No one understands
No one believed
No one listened
And I was glad they didn’t

Are friends really friendly?
Is love really mutual?
What exactly do we feel?
What exactly do we expect from bonds we create?

I had to shout to be listened to
I was hurt and broken
I wanted someone to share the pain
But all I felt was alone, as always

They called me a loner
Spoke ill behind my back
I was going down, depression
Suicidal thoughts, often, twice a week

4-5 storeys up
Afraid of heights but then was confident
I wanted to end it
I wanted not to feel at all

I thought I could end depression by death
They said and I believed it was easier
Sat alone, lights off in my room
Hoping someone might check up on me

They shouted, “she’s a psychopath”
And all I did was ran
Head down on my bed, I spoke to my dolls
Couldn’t get my eyes dry

Laid hands on me maybe
Threats, all I used to hear
Safe haven no longer a place
Safe haven not a person

Writing from a rehabilitation center
All I have are chalks and my wall
Too afraid to hand me books and a pen
Afraid that I’m really a psychopath,
The worst might happen

At least my wall listens
My wall writes back
I now have nothing to lose
Lost everything, everyone when I got here


@$heetheepoet

I felt an itch
Something crawling on my skin
I felt numbness
I couldn’t move

My lungs were swelling up
I couldn’t breath right
I wanted to turn and see
But it was too bright

I feel I’m getting back to my senses
But I still can’t see
Something strong burning my eyes
I still can’t move my fingers

I move my head away from the light
Someone is standing there
The strong stench of drugs
I feel the needles all over me

I see a white coat come in
Murmers expose my fear
First lights from a car
I wanted to commit suicide

Why didn’t I die?
Why am I still feeling?
What had happened?
I think I’m losing it

I want to panic
I want to scream
Then again I open my eyes
Lying in the park, was reading a novel.



@$heetheepoet

I believed when we met
It was already scripted
There were no flaws
Everything was so real
Or was it what I thought!

I remember your voice
Not from the long phonecalls we had
When you stared at me
I felt like I was floating

I believed we’d last
I knew we’d last
That felt so amazing
I wanted it to last

Then you stood and left
I felt this space crawling between us
You became distant
I never wanted to lose us

They appeared everywhere
was i just some bet you had?
A joke to you I thought
I would have killed for it to last
But you seemed out of it

I wanted to quench my thirst for a bond
Something boundless with you
I had a great feeling about us
I really thought you felt the same

Abcd was everything you told me when I called
Excuses were a daily thing
I finally became used
I finally stopped feeling

@$heetheepoet

Relationships are wierd, right?
Caring more about sex
Forgetting who gets hurt
Forgetting how much we spend

Internet photos getting more intimate
Girls posting their chests
Letting men fantasize about it
Like they need an approval

He keeps checking his Ex’s updates
Like he needs her back
Reminiscing about a broken past
A broken girl he turned her into

People driven by lust
What they see on Instagram
Naked girls posts
Claiming it’s a rotten world

Rotten doesn’t start to describe it
The rape videos being uploaded
Who needs to see that?
The world is not rotten, the inhabitants are

Twitter right,
We keep throwing shade on people
We claim we mean no harm
But internet hate is one cause of depression

He tore her skirt because it was too short
That she wasn’t descent enough
Is tearing it off her making her descent
Is that what correction looks like

Lets stop pretending like all is well,
Coz it ain’t
We are broken,
Everything we touch corrodes

I sometimes I start to question
We support those fighting for us
No to rape, no to murder
My dress my choice

Is anyone even listening
People are going through depression
Suffering in silence
Don’t you feel like you let someone down?

It only takes a little love to restore a broken heart
I hope it ends
We are losing a lot, ourselves
Can we move on from all the pain, neglect and depression!?

&$heetheepoet

I hate feeling weak
I hate feeling like I need someone
I hate feeling like I owe someone happiness
I hate feeling like I’m not enough

They leave at the sight of the newest face
The biggest bum, the biggest ass
Friends change when someone else is around
And that fake shit, is super fucked up

I don wanna lose control
I don’t wanna act
Someone told me that I should matter more to me
And I do,

Things change
People change
Emotions change
Time still moves

Doesn’t wait for you to get back up
You just have to hurry
Doesn’t wait for you to find new love
You just have to suck up the pain and move on

This feeling
Stressed up on the daily
Thoughts going round and round
But you still need you

Lately it’s getting wierd
People are getting all sucked into the world
The pleasures, the luxury, the desires, the lust
You trynna be you for you

Chances given to the wrong people maybe
Loved the wrong person maybe
The more chances I give
The more I change, the more it fades

It’s the impact you have on someone
No, the impact you have on you
Because that’s the only person who won’t change
You

Friends leave
Friends fall in love and forget
Ex lovers move on
Mates because extinct

You are worth a million
No, a billion,,,
Your worth is boundless, countless
Your worth is priceless

Don’t let shade thrown on your name
Make you feel as you not you
People talk behind your back, they always will
But the bright thing about that is

They will talk behind your back because that’s where they belong
Behind your back

_&$heetheepoet_

ONE time I decided to try
Giving this a wierd chill
Still had TWO waits
Chances running out
THREE times it was all a mess
Taking my final straw
FOUR a while I thought you’d realize
Involve all FIVE senses
Figure me out maybe I think
Communicate, vocality
SIX times it became devious
Starting to see another dark side
Shuttered all my SEVEN wall mirrors
It was some wierd f-EIGHT
NINE times I ran tired
Grew out of patience with me
TEN times it was all clear
Had all ten-one chance
Choosing not to re-read me
Unscripted longest wait


@$heetheepoet

When you no longer believe in love
A fantasy build up in your brain
No more emotions
If, directed to the wrong people

When you no longer believe in love
You make you your best company
You wanna protect you
Your heart desperate for a feel

When you mo longer believe in love
And suddenly it changes
A loophole in eternity
You even lose identity

When you no longer believe in love
You be like me
Being there for others,
Coz no one has ever been there for you

When you no longer believe in love
You are your own safe haven
Cry in the midst of darkness
Let them not see your weaknesses

When you no longer believe in love
The pain you felt keeps breaking you down
Your music taste changes
And all you wanna have is some company

When you no longer believe in love
You are afraid to give your heart to someone else
Falling for someone else
You are fragile and delicate

When you no longer believe in love
You see all emotions to you as lust
You wanna push everyone away
You protect your heart with all you got

When you no longer believe in love
You become stronger
You fight for what you want
But your heart becomes weaker, prone to emotions

When you no longer believe in love
All you want is someone with pure intentions
Someone to pass by you, say a hi maybe
Feel a connection with someone

When you no longer believe in love
You fall in love without realization
But as they say
The heart wants what it wants.

@$heetheepoet

Do you believe in love?
Those strong emotions,
That urge to be around someone,
That intrigue,

Does your heat beat when she calls?
Do you smile when she texts?
Those late-night conversations,
Evenings that create an impact,

Is she the one really though?
Do you believe she is?
Is she your best friend?
Is she your safe haven?

What’s love to you?
What fascinates you about love?

Is it the night cuddles?
In his arms, you feel safe
The masculinity all holding tight onto you?
That growl he makes when he moves closer?

Is it those movie nights?
That you just get distracted by her eyes
She keeps walking up and down with your tshirt on
That time that she picks you up and forces you to dance

You smiling right?
Do you believe in love?
Have you experienced love?
That burst of feelings,

Hormones acting out,
Her touch gets you all fired up,
That feeling when she walks towards you with your tshirt on,
Her smile gives you that wierd stomach feeling,
It feels like she’s the one.
Is she really though?

His voice and cologne turn you on,
The way he holds you,
Pulls you back in when you want to leave,
That forehead kiss,
you even forget to open your eyes,


She gets mad a lot right?
You can’t seem to contain her
It kinda puts you off.
The way she just overthinks and reacts,
Are you willing to stay?
Coz if you believe in love,
Then this is what love is all about;

Holding her close when she’s mad,
Being there when she’s throwing tantrums,
Tantrums you’ll leave her for the girl next door,
When she’s being wierd and breaking stuff,
Let her beat your chest,
Coz at the end that’s where she’ll lay her head on.

Be the ice when she’s the fire,
Be the storm when she’s the thunder,
This is what love is all about,
Staying when all you want do is leave,
Hoping when already all is lost,
And holding on when you are scared.

Loving them in ways they’ve never been loved,
Loving them for reasons they’ve never been told

That is love,
Do you believe?
I know you all do
I do too, coz loving ain’t perfect.
❤️



@$heetheepoet